JFK Jr. Jokes

JFK Jr.'s Last Words:

1. "NO! Not that button!"
2. "I wish I hadn't bought this damn plane from John Denver!"
3. "Carolyn....your sister is a much better in bed than you'll ever be."
4. "I dropped my cigarette - it didn't roll over toward the gas cap, did it?"
5. "Geez. We almost hit that duck!"
6. "Ya know, we really should visit the family cemetery this year."
7. "If you had wings, dear, you'd be an angel."
8. "Do you remember the last time we met Princess Di?"
9. "Hmmm... I guess that I shouldn't have made fun of our first president after all"

Q. What was John-John singing just before the crash?
A. "I love Rocky Mountain High."

Q. What does John Denver and JFK Jr. have in common?
A. They both sink in water.
A. They both know how to make a splash in the news.

Q. What was the worse thing about the crash?
A. He didn't have Teddy Kennedy with him.

Q. Why was John-John flying that night?
A. Ted offered him a lift.

Q. What will they name the movie about movie JFK, Jr.?
A. Eyes Wide Shut.
A. Three funerals and a wedding.

Q. What was JFK Jr's favorite movie?
A. Splash.

Q. What movie was playing on JFK Jr.'s plane?
A. Titanic

Q. What was the forecast for Cape Cod?
A. Cloudy, with widely scattered bodies and debris.

Q. What was the temperature off of Martha's Vineyard after JFK Jr.'s plane went down?
A. Three below.

Q. Where do the Kennedys go for their vacation?
A. All over Martha's Vineyard.

Q. What do the Kennedys miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
A. The runway

Q. Why was JFK Jr. flying to Martha's Vineyard?
A. He wanted to crash his cousin's wedding.

Q. Why didn't the wedding guests at Hyannisport want JFK Jr. to show up?
A. He was a complete wreck.

Q. What was JFK Jr.'s final cheap thrill?
A. Going down on Gay Head

Q. Guess what they'll rename Martha's Vineyard?
A. Kennedy's Graveyard

Q. Why are they having trouble finding JFK Jr.'s plane?
A. Because his flight actions constitute wreckless behavior.

Q. What did John say when he reached the pearly gates?
A. I hope I don't have to take an entrance exam.

Q. How did JFK Jr. learn how to fly?
A. Crash course.

Q. What did John-John drink on his plane?
A. Ocean Spray!

Q. Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight?
A. He figured he'd just wash up on shore.

Q. What is the Kennedy Airline motto?
A. "Your baggage will always arrive before you do."

Q. What do Republicans say about JFK Jr.'s political chances for President?
A. All washed up.

Q. How are the Kennedys like oil?
A. They don't mix well with water.

Q. What do the Kennedys fear the most?
A. Old age.

Q. What will it take to bring the former first family back together again?
A. One more bullet.

Q. Why is Al Gore pissed at JFK Jr.?
A. He didn't like him polluting the water.

Q. What did Jimmy Hoffa say after the crash?
A. Get off my grave you God-damn Kennedy!

Q. Why aren't there more JFK Jr. jokes out there?
A. They just haven't surfaced yet!

According to her campaign advisors... Hillary to buy Bill flying lessons

I guess Kennedys can't drive anything without hitting the water.

Ich Bin Ein Ivy-League Playboy Fishfood

Used to be that Kennedys drowned their women one at a time!

We hear JFK Jr. has changed his name to "Bob."

And they said he was washed up at 38.

JFK Jr. had his plane serviced a few days before but instead of taking it to the Central Aeronautics Institute for this, he mistakenly put it in the CIA hangar.

Is it true that the Dead Kennedys are planning a reunion tour?

Did you hear the new Dead Kennedys song?
-- Too Drunk to Fly a Plane

Someone really needs to set a seminar at the Kennedy compound titled: "Planes, Boats, and Automobiles: Only One Floats"
-- Actually JFK proved that even boats don't always float.

It seems that they have been able to determine that the pilot of the plane, JFK Jr., had a severe case of dandruff at the time of the crash. His Head & Shoulders washed up on the beach....

Tomorrows headline in the New York Post is going to be:
THE HUNK SUNK

Ted Kennedy is reported to have washed up on shore...
He stated that he did his best to rescue his nephew.

They say John F. Kennedy Jr.'s left wing fell off...
Sounds like a right wing conspiracy.

JFK Jr. couldn't handle the publicity.
He just went to pieces.

People Magazine just voted JFK Jr. the sexiest man dead.

Looks like JFK Jr. paid the Piper.

Last year JFK Jr. bought the Piper airplane...
This year he bought the farm.

JFK Jr. was a down-to-earth plane guy.

If Teddy Kennedy had been flying with JFK Jr, he would have swam for help...
JFK Jr. would still have drowned, but we wouldn't know for another 8 hours.

JFK Jr.'s mom when meeting him in heaven:
"Dammit, Boy! Which part of straighten up and fly right didn't you understand!?!

Just like his uncle Ted... he wanted one last drink!

Even though the wedding has been called off...
It still looks like they will make good use of the priest.

Considering it was a Kennedy that went down, I hear the Coast guard will be looking for champaigne bottles instead of oil streaks.

Too bad uncle Ted wasn't on board...
They could have used him as a floatation device.

JFK Jr was not drunk!
It was watered down.

A frustrated St. Peter to the Grim Reaper...For the last time! I said TED KENNEDY! Not John, not Robert, not Michael, not Jaquelline! TED!

John Junior had only gotten his flying license last year...
He graduated at the top of his class at the John Denver Flying Institute.

Kyle & Stan of South Park:
"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNEDY! YOU BASTARD!"